I'm not sure if I should post this here, or on my other blog where I log dreams but I haven't updated that in eons that I just didn't want to barge in and spew out a rather strange dream.
It's about an old flame (I debated if I should use "fling" instead...but figured he's really not in that category, and well, I've never been the "fling" kind of person anyway). Well, he showed up in my dream and it was really weird. It just evoked the same emotions (not love or anything) surrounding the circumstances in the past why we were never were despite the strong and screaming potential of us being a couple. Suffice it to say, I decided to be wise about the whole thing and distance myself before it became even a step closer to being "possibly serious". Call me a party pooper, or a kill joy (get the drift of the story?) but I held my stand about being proper and moral (perhaps that's not even the word to put it), I chose to stay away even if you know, back then, if I was going to have things my way and follow my heart...and my heart alone, I could have fallen. And buried myself deep into a horrible, and perhaps heartbreaking situation anyway.
Don't get me wrong, he wasn't the only "one", there were several options that came and went, but he and I, I guess, had great conversations and genuine caring friendship. I was scared that those weren't enough. Truthfully, looking back, I guess it really wasn't going to be enough. So I know I made the right decision. When I got married, he was really happy for me but couldn't come because he was just getting over a failed marriage (not because of me okay). I'm not even a factor. We were friends before he even met his ex-spouse. We were friends when he decided to get married. We were friends while he was trying to save his marriage. But sadly, things went awry. It's a long convoluted complicated story.
When I moved away, I couldn't say goodbye, he was undergoing.treatment of drug addiction
that weighed him down all throughout his adult life. I just sent a card and recently we have reconnected on Facebook. He's found his second chance. I'm just so happy.
With the past month being alcohol awareness month, I just thought it was okay to post a little part of me that I never said anything about. Especially with the weird dream I just had. I should really say, he lost his chances with me because of his addiction for the most part (and well, among other sad things), but I am still his friend. I still keep in touch and offer the friendship, not only so I will have peace of mind knowing that he remains rehabilitated, but so I will have the chance to be happy for him and his second chances (not me).
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It's about an old flame (I debated if I should use "fling" instead...but figured he's really not in that category, and well, I've never been the "fling" kind of person anyway). Well, he showed up in my dream and it was really weird. It just evoked the same emotions (not love or anything) surrounding the circumstances in the past why we were never were despite the strong and screaming potential of us being a couple. Suffice it to say, I decided to be wise about the whole thing and distance myself before it became even a step closer to being "possibly serious". Call me a party pooper, or a kill joy (get the drift of the story?) but I held my stand about being proper and moral (perhaps that's not even the word to put it), I chose to stay away even if you know, back then, if I was going to have things my way and follow my heart...and my heart alone, I could have fallen. And buried myself deep into a horrible, and perhaps heartbreaking situation anyway.
Don't get me wrong, he wasn't the only "one", there were several options that came and went, but he and I, I guess, had great conversations and genuine caring friendship. I was scared that those weren't enough. Truthfully, looking back, I guess it really wasn't going to be enough. So I know I made the right decision. When I got married, he was really happy for me but couldn't come because he was just getting over a failed marriage (not because of me okay). I'm not even a factor. We were friends before he even met his ex-spouse. We were friends when he decided to get married. We were friends while he was trying to save his marriage. But sadly, things went awry. It's a long convoluted complicated story.
When I moved away, I couldn't say goodbye, he was undergoing.treatment of drug addiction
that weighed him down all throughout his adult life. I just sent a card and recently we have reconnected on Facebook. He's found his second chance. I'm just so happy.
With the past month being alcohol awareness month, I just thought it was okay to post a little part of me that I never said anything about. Especially with the weird dream I just had. I should really say, he lost his chances with me because of his addiction for the most part (and well, among other sad things), but I am still his friend. I still keep in touch and offer the friendship, not only so I will have peace of mind knowing that he remains rehabilitated, but so I will have the chance to be happy for him and his second chances (not me).
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